We are all born with different taste preferences. It can sometimes be a bit difficult to remember that when it comes to our children. Many times, we transfer our own taste preferences to them…
But few people like all food. Most of us have some basic tastes that can be a bit challenging (the taste bitter can, for example, be a bit tricky). Or some textures that we don't like. And that's perfectly fine! Also when it comes to our wonderful children.
What's important to remember is that our taste experiences are constantly changing – especially in our children. They change according to their surroundings, how much security there is around mealtime, who they are with, etc.
Many new taste experiences need to be learned. Sometimes they are easier to learn than others (it's very individual). Other times it requires a very long practice (!) – and in some cases, it's not learned (and this can be due to many things, including our sensory perception/regulation, the pedagogy around the meal, motor skills, etc.)
Should our children taste all new food?
Not if you ask me.
As a rule, I'm not particularly fond of having a rule.
I am a very strong believer in our children regulating themselves – and tasting when they are ready.
As long as we make sure to follow the division of responsibility (read more about this in the article "How to avoid power struggles at the dinner table") and be good role models, they will find their own way in their taste experiences.
Our children learn (among other things) by mirroring us, their parents. Does that mean we should teach them to eat all food? Or that you shouldn't say "no thank you" to some food? Absolutely not. Saying no thank you is also learning to know your own boundaries.
Should you never ask your child to taste?
But you can't lump everyone together. That much is certain. Because all children and families are different – and what works for some doesn't work for others.
Therefore, it also works for some families to ask their child if he/she would like to taste.
But… Here you should be extremely aware that it is always perfectly fine if the child doesn't want to taste. No coercion, please. And the child is always allowed to spit out the food again (e.g., into a napkin).
In families where I advise against asking your child to taste the food, there are too many power struggles around the dinner table. Because here the child needs to experience regaining full ownership of their own food – without mom/dad interfering.
Last but not least, it is of course important that we let our children take control of their own food. We don't decide how much our children should eat – they exclusively do that themselves. This is a golden rule to, among other things, avoid conflicts around the dinner table.
Love
Charlotte
