Every day I help parents with their children's eating habits, and I receive many inquiries regarding children's pickiness (or eating challenges, as I call it).
I usually ask parents the following question: Is dinner enjoyable at your house?
The answer often requires considerable thought – and most say: “No, not particularly enjoyable.”
Because often there's too much scolding because the children don't want to eat or taste the food, perhaps the children are a bit too restless at the table, and usually, the parents don't get to enjoy their own food.
If you experience the same, here's some inspiration on how to make mealtimes a little more pleasant:
- Food and senses are connected. We use all our senses when we eat. If our senses are not awake, it can greatly affect the meal. To prepare your child for the meal, help him/her awaken their senses. Give a tickle, play tag, jump on the trampoline (or in bed ;-)), give them a swing, massage your child's feet and hands, etc.
Conversely – if your child is full of energy, it's important to calm their nervous system before the meal. Give deep, calm pressure on arms, legs, hands, and feet, read a small book to your child while he/she sits in your lap, etc. - Meals and love are connected. Ensure a good atmosphere at the table. Mealtimes are just as much about security, presence, and love. If everyone is happy (especially mom and dad), the child becomes more secure, which allows their appetite to grow.
- Accept that your child has had a long day and is tired. This often affects dinner for many children. In fact, dinner is the most demanding meal of the entire day. Few children can handle eating all sorts of new (and perhaps even familiar) food at this time of day.
- If it's difficult to get your child to eat vegetables/fruit for dinner – serve it when your child comes home from school/daycare. Their appetite is often greater then.
- Relinquish control over your child's meal, and do not interfere with what and how much or whether your child eats. It is entirely up to your child how much is eaten (and yes, it can be very challenging). But the more you interfere, the less is eaten.
- Let your child serve themselves from the age of 1 (help if your child needs it – especially at the beginning).
- In addition to the main course, it's a good idea to set out 2-3 small plates (or shallow bowls) with food on the table where you know there's something your child likes (I call this comfort food). This could be some coarse pasta, beans, raspberries, wholemeal bread, small meatball bites, or carrots – whatever suits your child. This way, you ensure that your child doesn't have to leave the table hungry.
- Make sure not to serve your child's favorite dish every day as the main course. You need to vary the main meals – your child should be introduced to new dishes and new flavors constantly. Therefore, remember my tip above.
- Mixed dishes (both hot and cold dishes) can be very overwhelming for many children. Therefore, serve the food in small bowls (as far as possible; of course, some dishes are not suitable for this). It's especially a good idea to serve all vegetables in separate bowls.
- Our children learn to eat/taste/find their own way by mirroring others (especially us parents). The best way for your child to become curious about new food (tastes) is by watching us adults interact with food. Tasting food. Saying "no thank you" to food. Saying "yes please" to food. From here, it is our children's own responsibility to find their own way on their food journey.
- Remember that both parents must agree on how the meal should proceed. It's no use if mom (or dad) says: "Eat up now," while the other says: "You shouldn't interfere with that." Consistent guidelines are absolutely crucial.
- Remember that food is always an offer, not coercion. We cannot force our children to eat – it must come from their own free will.
I hope this helps a little.
Kind regards
Charlotte
